Defining a touch ONESHOT-ish
by starshaker
Summary: Destiel Fluff . When anger brings out the best in them.
1. Chapter 1

Castiel couldn't understand the anger Dean always exhibited when he appeared in the room with the brothers. Nor could he explain how, despite having no wings in this form, the sensitivity when they stood side by side, or how Dean's anger made the sensation of his phantom appendages feel electric. He imagined that if they were visible they would surely be fluidly rippling and flaring; thrown out to their full width in the Winchester's presence as if acting on their own.

Dean infuriated Castiel; the human was obnoxious and irrational, rude and pushy; Yet Castiel found himself exhilarated by the rush Dean gave him. Castiel wanted to test Dean's strength, match Dean's control and power to his own. He wanted to find an equal in him.

It frustrated him that so much of his desire lay in Dean's actions, and that the other angels would ridicule him for yearning for the equal of a human. There was no comparison in most angels' minds; Humans stood even below demons in the power struggle, little above animals. Castiel saw everything he'd previously believed in challenged by Dean Winchester. Dean Winchester had the potential to be his equal.

He found Dean brooding in a bar over a failed hunt. The angel could tell he wasn't drunk though he certainly wanted to be.

"Dean," He said, reaching out to him tentatively.

"Cas!" Dean yelled, earning several looked from other patrons as Dean almost fell from the bar stool. Cas' hand steadied him.

"Perhaps you should return to your motel room," Cas suggested.

"Whatever," Dean shrugged, but complied as Cas pushed him gently towards the door.

"Where are you staying?"

"Baby,"

"What?" Cas said turning on him,

"My car," Dean emphasised as if it were obvious. Cas frowned.

"Where is it?"

"Two streets over," Dean said, sighing and taking the lead. Cas kept speed with him until they turned a corner and he saw the impala.

"Hey baby," Dean said fondly, striding towards it, fishing the keys from his pocket before turning back to Cas. "Okay Cas, babysitting duty is over, I suppose that's what Sammy asked you for,"

"I came on my own accord,"

"Yeah, 'cause you enjoy my company so much when don't need each other's help,"

"You have caused no trouble for me, I would not have been involved with eventually,"

"Cas. Get out of here," Cas cocked his head to the side,

"What would be the point of me coming here of my own free will to simply be ordered away,"

"Stubbornness?" Dean suggested as he opened the car door and flopped on to the front seat.

"I am not stubborn," he said, leaning one arm on the roof looking across at Dean.

"Cas you're as stubborn as a five year old,"

"So you keep informing me,"

"It's the truth. You'd see through my lies anyway," He says, rambling a bit as the tiredness and alcohol relaxes him.

"Your truthfulness infuriates me sometimes,"

"Your arrogance, because I'm an Angel of the Lord routine, infuriates me," Dean said glaring up at Cas.

Cas grabbed his shirt with one hand and hoisted him out of the car and threw him against it, feeling guilty as he saw Dean wince.

"And I suppose you Dean Winchester, never get arrogant and cocky when he has an angel backing up his endeavours,"

"Half the time I have to keep said angel in line, the other half of the time he refuses to involved in our petty human affairs," Dean argued and squaring up to the angel.

"I do everything within my power; just as you do," Dean frowned and stared eye to eye with Cas's face.

Dean had come to do this more often, studying the angel's face, his expressions only given away by the twitch of a muscle. Cas enjoyed being the subject of Dean's intense attention, when Dean became so still when Cas knew he was learning his vessel's body and habits.

He wished Dean could look upon his true form instead of this vessel, though perhaps he would be repulsed. Cas knew his battle torn wings, mismatched in dark shades were a long way from the purer feathers the other angels more highly regarded. He imagined Dean would have similar dark wings to his own. He took a deep breath, still looking at Dean; it was a proud stance. Cas was surprised when Dean backed away.

"Cas, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I'm sorry," Dean stumbled and Castiel caught him. Dean flinched as if Cas were about to hit him

"Why are you so afraid?"

"Your wings Cas. Definitely a bad omen," He said, still trying to back away but held in an iron grip.

"You can see them?" Cas said, astonished.

"Only when you're seriously pissed at me,"

"You've seen them before?" Dean nodded. Cas glanced behind but could see no wings protruding from his vessel. "Can you touch them?" Cas didn't know what to expect when Dean reached to a spot just behind his shoulder. A ripple like a static shock made Cas shiver. He looked at Dean who was now running his fingers along the very top to the tip of where he could feel his wing.

"Is this as far as they reach?" Dean asked. Cas concentrated on how it would feel to stretch his wings to their full potential. It wasn't done often; only as a demonstration of power or a mating show. He saw the tug on Dean's hand where he held the invisible limb.

"I'm not sure if I can stretch them out with you holding it there,"

"They faded after I first touched them; I don't want to lose where they are,"

"When else have you been able to see them?"

"A few times. Like I said, you were usually pissed off at me. When we were shouting, arguing, once when you told me you didn't have the faith in me to do the right thing like Sam did. They looked different that time: smaller, heavier, like they were covered with some sort of liquid or oil," Tears of an angel, Cas refrained from telling him; tears of betrayal that covered the wings. Cas tried to remember the other occasions Dean could be talking about. All times when they had been arguing meant that he was being challenged by Dean. He was distracted when Dean felt his way deep between the feathers to the sensitive skin beneath. Cas gasped.

"I thought you said the human vessel couldn't survive parts of your true form like this?" Dean asked.

"It can't. I didn't know you could see them. I can't see them, but I can feel when you touch them, I only bring them into my wavelengths of sight when I'm grooming them"

"And you can control them?"

"If I concentrate,"

"So they are most present when you exhibit power. Should I start shouting again?"

"I don't think it works like that,"

"Then fight me," Dean suggested and Cas eyed him warily.

"I regret it when I use physical force with you,"

"I could take you any day," Dean said with a twitch of his eyebrow telling Cas to do no less than 'Bring it,'

"Unlikely," He said just as Dean tackled him and threw him to the ground.

"Dean! Dean, stop it!" They tussled until Cas leapt back with a yelp and Dean sat back, a satisfied grin on his face. He held his prize up to Cas; a long black feather with a navy blue tint as it caught the street light. Cas looked away embarrassed as Dean ran the feather through his fingers, unaware of the cultural significance of stealing such a possession.

"You can't keep that,"

"Why not? I can't put it back,"

"In angelic culture it is either an aggressive move to steal a portion of another's wing, or an affection one,"

"It's a feather Cas,"

"But you took it from me,"

"You let me touch your wings,"

"I admit I was forgetting myself,"

"So that would have been affectionate too?"

"You were fondling my most sensitive limb, Dean. What do you think?" Cas snapped at him. Dean hesitated and then reached out.

"I want to do it again," Cas shuddered and leaned into the touch.


	2. Chapter 2

The demon was joyfully matching Dean blow for blow, not giving him a chance to chant out an exorcism; grinning as she twisted out of reach the moment Dean went in to strike with his knife. It didn't matter that Dean's vision was blurring at each hit as the ground shook beneath them the building threatening to come down around them. As much as he tried to concentrate on the demon in front of him each time another part of the roof dropped his thoughts flashed to Sam, hoping he'd had more luck getting out already.

The demon sent him flying across the room into a concrete pillar where he crumpled down to the floor; the demon soon following his trajectory to pin him there as it spouted meaningless insults. Dean's knife was a finger's length from his reach. Her taunts fell on deaf ears and Dean stretched further his muscles and cuts protesting until he felt the handle of the knife slide into his grip. It only took him seconds to flip the knife around, catching the demon on her arm which sent her snarling backwards.

Despite coming back in force his weariness was beginning to show as three consecutive swipes missed their marks. The demon caught him mid recovery throwing him clear across the room.

Expecting to crash into the fairly immovable brick wall and not feeling the resulting impact was when Dean was getting ready to meet his reaper again. Attempting to open his eyes was futile as a surrounding darkness cocooned him. The thick darkness appeared to recede and lower him to the cold concrete floor. The dark mass moved allowing light from the roof in. As they moved further apart Dean was able to glance across the room and his whole body eased in relief when he saw Castiel stood there. The angel was watching the she-demon burn out, and even once the body had vanished he still did not turn back to Dean.

"Cas," Dean called out, but it came out as a groan; Castiel still didn't turn. When then Dean attempted to push himself up from where he lay the black mass above him supported the effort, swooping don behind his back and lifting him into a more comfortable position. Realising now that what he as surrounded by were Cas' wings he leant into their warmth, eye still fixed on Castiel stood across the way.

The ground had appeared to stop shaking but as Dean took several more shaky breaths the room was still wavering in a very 'I've been hit too many times round the head' way.

Regrettably he shut his eyes and let the darkness and the feel of Castiel's wings relax him slightly instead. He ran his hand along the patch of feathers he could reach, trying to find some way to connect with his angel when he felt the feathers give way to the leathery skin beneath; it didn't feel smooth though but rather scabbed and scarred in deep lines. His touch didn't linger there long as the wings shifted and by the time Dean had his eyes open the wings had vanished and Cas held him in his arms.

"Are you okay to move now?" Cas asked coldness in his voice despite the considerate question. Dean looked straight at him but could not figure out the reason for the oddness in behaviour.

"Yeah Cas, I'll be find. Is Sammy…?"

"He is unharmed and waiting by your car. Is that where you would like me to take you? Or would you rather a motel?"

"You know how I feel about angel airways Cas,"

"It is either that or I carry you out,"

"Like hell that's going to happen," Dean said pulling away but stumbling as his legs gave way and he soon found himself holding on to Castiel for balance. "You are not carrying my bridal style,"

"Would you rather a fireman's lift?"

"Okay, okay. Zap us back to the motel. You, me, Sam and my car,"

"Very well" Cas reached out his hand and Dean felt a tug in his gut; the tug was soon a sickening turn, his head was light with the instant rush of heat from the room and Dean blacked out as his feet hit the ground.

With a sigh Dean cracked his eyes open knowing he couldn't stay curled up under the covers without checking on Sammy. Glancing round the room though Sam wasn't there; but Cas was, sat on the edge of the bed one wing curled back around him as he ran his fingers gently through the bare patch Dean remembered from earlier. Dean cleared his throat and Cas looked up to him.

"Your wings okay Cas?" He asked, sitting up against the pillows.

"Just like you, they will heal,"

"What happened?"

"You passed out when I landed here; you were out for about an hour,"

"Not to me,"

"Sam has only bruises from his fights. He took the car to fetch some dinner for you both, he left a few minutes ago after my assurances you were not excessively harmed and were to wake soon,"

"And you know I didn't mean Sam,"

"I am fine Dean, do not worry about me such," Cas told him, yet he could not meet Dean's eye as he did. Dean caught the shimmer of the wings; a warning he's come to know as the seconds before the wings seemed to evaporate. He pushed himself forward just in time to reach out his hand to find the base of the wings at Castiel's back. Where his hand fell was red hot and Dean yelped and pulled away as Castiel flinched forwards.

"Please don't do that Dean," Castiel reprimanded and he stood putting more space between them.

"But it thought you like it when…" He trailed off and Cas looked blankly at the wall behind Dean.

"I shall go now," He said, a tiny twitch by his eye keeping the welling tears from overflowing.

"Oh no you don't," He grabbed at Cas' wrist and held on a tightly as he could.

"You know that won't stop me Dean,"

"Yes it will. It will and you'll stay, you'll have dinner with us and watch crappy telly with me while Sam does god knows what on his laptop," Dean said desperately, " Just don't go like this," This was sounding a lot like begging .

"Dean," Cas started, the name catching in his throat his gaze relocating to the floor.

"You don't have to tell me what's happening to your wings or when you're coming back; just don't go like this. Something's wrong and we can help," Dean felt the tenseness of Castiel's arm relax slightly and he really hoped he was getting through to him. "Cas?" Castiel's shoulders were shaking and Dean stepped closer to wrap his arms around him.

Suddenly Castiel's wings flared up around him throwing Dan's arms away and Dean stumbled into the bedside table.

"You did this to me Dean, and now you ask that I confess my problems to you and stay as you say so. I do not deserve this pain inflicted from you!" Castiel snapped accusingly. Dean's eyes went wide at the sudden anger but as Castiel vanished in a flap of his wings Dean was already praying for him to come back.

Dean brushed of Sam's concern as just feeling a bit off after having the hell beaten out of him. Thy were fairly certain the lead that had taken them to the warehouse was a duff, and since Cas had told Sam there was nothing of value in the area, the demons must have been placed there by Crowley as a trap or at the very least a distraction. Cleaning their knives gave something for dean to focus on since the TV wasn't nearly engaging enough to distract him from thoughts of Cas' fearsome expression as he had left.

If Sam had noticed Dean's behaviour he didn't mention anything; he knew Dean and Cas had grown closer recently. The lack of personal space comments and increased affectionate touches had prompted him to discretely ask Dean if they would need two rooms. That didn't of course stop the clashing of ideas and risk taking; sharing a room whilst the two of them argued Sam had ventured to wonder out loud what actually held them together. All it earned him was a sarcastic comment about happily ever afters.

When Dean turned in early he took comfort as always when Sam looked up from the laptop smiled and wished him goodnight. When they were arguing or things were tough, Dean barely caught an hour of sleep; but as long as Sam was on his side things were going to be alright.

That night though he couldn't turn it all off. He listened to Sam tap away at his keyboard for another hour and a half, and then heard him switch it all off, check the warding and go to bed himself. Sam's breathing slowed, the occasional snore punctuated the quiet and Dean lay wide awake. Dean squeezed his eyes shut tighter.

"Come on man, wha'did I do wrong this time?" he mumbled into the pillow. He pulled the pillow over his ears, willing the thoughts away.

It wasn't under the mattress dipped that his was startled from his self-deprecation and despair. Sitting up and turning in a flash he saw Castiel sat beside him, hands clenched together in his lap. Dean reached out to comfort him but paused halfway and retreated, cursing in his had for being such a coward.

"I'm sorry Dean," Cas eventually started.

"I don't care," Dean said a little harsher than intended. Castel glanced up momentarily.

"I'll leave again then, I'm…"

"No, wait. That's not what I mean,"

"I should let you rest,"

"I'll rest when I know you're okay,"

"I told you Dean, I _am_ fine,"

"Then stay," Dean reached out again, dropping his hand to Cas' leg and held it then until Castiel unclenched his hands and slide one of his own over Dean's. Dean held it firmly and pulled Cas closer. "Lie down with me Cas?" Dean whispered. Tentatively Cas complied, kicking off his shoes as Dean slid the tie and trench coat from his shoulders and dropped them to the side of the bed.

"You forgive me too easily," Cas muttered as Dean pulled him closer.

"I was under the impression it was something _I'd _done,"

"It was,"

"So shouldn't you be forgiving me?"

"I didn't tell you what you'd done,"

"In case you haven't noticed, I fuck up _a lot_," Deans aid, chuckling as he looped his arms around Cas' back.

"You took that feather,"

"Oh not that again! Cas, I said I was sorry,

"But you're not," Castiel said with an air of amusement

"I'm keeping it safe!" Dean protested

"and I'm happy you have it,"

"Then where's the problem?"

"You're human,"

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Dean asked indignantly. Cas paused before answering, as if weighing his words.

"Do you remember what I told you about taking a feather?"

"A sign of aggression or a sign of affection right?"

"yes,"

"You know it which it was for me, even if I didn't know at the time,"

"That's beside the point,"

"Not for me," Dean said, placing a gentle kiss on Castiel's head.

"By it from me we change. If it was taken in aggression my Grace and being would take on the aggression and ready myself to fight,"

"And with us?"

"I don't know. I feel you much more clearly than before; your pain, your driving emotions, the scars you saw on my wings are not mine,"

"I don't understand,"

"They're scars from_ your soul_ Dean,"

"Explain it for the dumb human Cas,"

"I can't. I am not losing my grace or falling but I feel human emotions as you do. I was, am, so scared,"

"Don't be scared Cas. If I gave you the feather back would that reverse it?"

"I want you to have it,"

"But you're hurting," He felt Cas smile against the skin of his collarbone and sigh. "You've been fairly human before, it's not all that bad. I thought you liked us,"

"Human's are a beautiful species; but I am not one of you, I do not know _how _to be one of you, I can't understand all these feelings I'm taking form you. So much pain and intensity, I am unused to it,"

"How do you feel right now Cas?" Dean asked. He had now begun rubbing slow circles over the angel's back, one of the only calming gestures he knew.

"I'm warm; you're warm; and safe,"

"Then you stay right here until… well at least until the morning, cause by then I'm probably gonna need to piss but…"

"You are incorrigible,"

"I'm adorable,"

"Not even close,"

With Castiel pulled close and wrapped around him tight Dean finally felt sleep pulling him under when a question crossed his mind,"

"Hey Cas,"

"Yes Dean?"

"Anyone ever taken your feathers before,"

"No, I always avoided such encounters previously,"

"Huh. My baby angel," Dean mumbled in his sleepy haze.

"I still do not like or understand why you compare me to an infant,"

"But you're not disputing that you're mine,"

"Perhaps if there ever comes a time when you are also not mine,"

"Nope,"

"What?"

"Never going to happen," Dean couldn't help but smile as Cas delicately kissed along Dean's collar bone and shoulder.

"Thank you," Cas whispered.

"Mmm, love you Cas," Dean said as he finally fell asleep with his angel tucked against him.


End file.
